corrupt wishing well of doom

Granted, but instead of loggin onto the forums, they instant message their friends to call the police that they were kidnapped by some lunatics who are obsessing about some fantasy sorrow net.

I wish for more really good people to come to these forums of their own volition (or at least for people to answer the post I made on the xkcd forum)

Granted, but they come only from the xkcd forum, and no other places

I wish people would remember to look at my advert too!!!

Granted, but they spam the forum advertisment thread.

I wish this would become one of the most popular forums ever (without being as overfull as KH3 seems to be, though it has cooled down from what it was when I first left), and we would be like gods, the... FOur? Five, forgot Chaos for a miute.. of us ruling as the beloved administrators of Sorrow's Elegance, the Gratest Forum OnLine!

granted but seeing that you called our forum a grat yu get chacked in the walsh by a flack

I wish I could run as fast as sound

Granted, but only when you run chanting words such as flack, feck, grat and bloit

I wish to make my own language!!!!

granted but no-one ever understands you

I wish I could teleport everywhere I want without side-effects

Granted, but I have to come too

I wish I could come too!!!

granted, but you are suceptible to the side-effects, therefore after the first teleport, your legs are where you head was, your arms are at wierd angles on sides of your legs and your head is now on your chest.

I wish that I could get a job at barnes and noble/borders this summer.

Granted, but they make you work on the floor where all the kids books are kept

I wish I could write a children's story much better than the crap ones around these days

granted, but no childrens are allowed to read it because it gets a dark aura.

I wish everything was over.

Granted. But a new world will have just begun, filled with sunshine, and the scent of flowers, and cute, fluffy little rabbits and racoons, as well as other things that burn, suffocate, or inflict rabies.

I wish for, if not the movie theater to call that my job application has been accepted, that Hastings rescind their 18 years age minimum and allow me to work there. Preferably in Video Games or Books.

Granted but someone accuses you of shoplifting and you get fired

I wish me throat didn't hurt so much

Granted, you get a pain in your shin instead (ouchie)

I wish I knew why someone would get me a frickin' box for my birthday *_*

because it's like ... a box

I wish for fish

Granted, but it's cooked in the oven

I wish for the best fish recipe

granted but you can't cook it

I wish I had a awsome girlfriend >.<

granted, but it turns out she isn't a real girl.

I wish that minimum age requirements for jobs would disappear...

Granted, you end up working in a job with babies as your bosses (like in Absolute Boyfriend )

I wish I could get some good rest for a change (sleep is not good right now)

granted, but good rest turns out to be two days long and you have to stay awake for a week before it actually takes effect

I wish that my brain was like that of a computer, and my body was like that of Ziggy from Xenosaga.

Granted, you get locked up in a futuristic cyber zoo

I wish I knew what to do over the short holiday coming up next week

Granted. Go to the zoo (personally, I hate the crowds and hot weather and pretty much everything about the zoo except the animals).

I wish I could implement my idea to buy a warehouse zoned for consumer sale, and buy for cheap all the unsold books from chain bookstores for cheap that would otherwise be destroyed and thrown away, then use them to stock a discount bookstore that would allow the books to remain intact (and I could pick out the books I like), with at least enough profit to keep the store running.

Granted, but the only warehouse available is in Mexico

Still a good idea though ^^

I wish I could make people's great ideas happen

granted but my "world domination" plan finally succeeds and you all have to obey me

I wish I could rule the world .... and make it a better place

Granted, but you are forced to choose a grand council- and we are the only people you can find

I wish for a good time at the beach tomorrow

Granted. But it's raining, so instead of going to the beach, you rent a m=ovie, but it's got the wrong disc (a movie entitled A Good Time at the Beach), and it turns out to be a sappy romance that you dislike.

I wish I had the materials for the different projects I need to finish around the house fefore the end of the school year
(my sister gets a pet dog, and I need to dog-proof the areas that the cats prefer)