corrupt wishing well of doom

granted but it "fell of a truck" and you get arrested

I wish for flying puppies

Granted, but they release excrement the same way pigeons do... whilst flying above you.

I wish for a reindeer rifle for christmas eve.
Venison all winter long...

granted but santa takes revenge and bitchslaps you all year long

I wish ..... food

Granted...You are food. you are soylent green. Soylent Green is Firesnake.

I wish...for more properly typed ellipses.

granted but you are banned from writing

I wish the earth wasn't taking revenge on us

Granted, but all humans would have to behave. And that means ALL humans!!

I wish bad things wouldn't keep happening to me

granted they happen to everybody who is human
..I'm glad I'm undead

I wish that my pet imp had not shrunk me

Granted, he shrunk the rest of the world instead.

I wish black was even cooler than it already is

granted but that is impossible!!!

I wish I had thaught of something

Granted. You thought of, and I quote a Dilbert comic, "Roseanne Arnolds in a string bikini."

I wish Terminal Est's announcement hadn't made me feel so sad (and, if she reads this, that she doesn't feel bad about it)

granted you don't feel bad about it and you are happy for miss valentine.. but you lose your foot somewhere in the process

I wish for a pointy stick

Granted, but it is knobbly at the same time.

I do also feel sad about Termie's announcement, but I think it's important to respect her wishes and try and keep cheerful, so when she is happy and gets back we can enforce even more cheerfulness!!

I wish to enforce cheerfulness

granted but you lose a hand

I wish for the fork of truth

Granted but you also get the knife of falsehood.

I wish my brother would never come back!!

granted but his clones will

I wish the fork of truth did more than just make people angry

Granted, it makes them act inappropriately friendly instead.

I wish I could know what it is like to be a cat for a day

granted ... you get too eat catfood

I wish I was the most evil bein

Granted, but nobody knows what a bein is, so you go unnoticed.

I wish there was more to life than Vincent...

granted... there is ... always been

I wish ... I liked vincent in some kind of a way
(sorry I can't relate to him)

Granted, but he still probably doesn't measure up to Zell. To be honest I don't know what it is I like about him, he's quite pathetic really. But hey, there must be some reason...

I wish there were reasons for everything

granted there are but nobody knows why

I wish that it was when it was

Granted, but because when it was is when it will be, it will be when it is to be.

I wish I knew what it felt like to be as obsessed with a character as Miss Valentine is, but without the side effects.

Granted, but hell I'm not that obsessed, so it feels quite disappointing ( )

I wish I could ride on the Eurostar, to see if it is really as crap as people say it is

granted but they realize: hey we can not built a good train to london... so you drown

I wish I would have some hunting gears

Granted, another toy gun for you...

I wish I had a pet cat, just because my kid loves them and everyone I talk to seems to have one