corrupt wishing well of doom

Granted, but you get hit by a tranquilizer dart before meeting him, and he confuses your cries for help and incoherence as violent insanity, and uses his prez-fu to declare war all over you.

I wish my life was like a random humorous semi-scifi/fantay anime that reset anything bad that happened for me be the next event, which would usually occur at most a week later.

granted, but you are horribly deformed, but in a funny way in the anime.

I wish that real life could be as satisfying as the TV show Leverage.

Granted. But your morals prevent you from feeling good about scamming even evil corporations, so though it is satisfying, it makes you really guilty.

I wish I could understand, converse in, and write in any language or other form of communication, human, animal, etc., without any direct penalty for doing so.

granted, but you find out that all any animal talks about is food and survival, and humans ae all just giant hunks of greed.

I wish that all my friends who I don't see(on a regular basis) played the MMORPG Perfect World International.

Granted. But you don't.

I wish I would be able to play with friends on FFXI a lot more often, and for a lot longer than it looks like I'll be able to with my current funds, without it interfering with my schoolwork or anything..

granted, but you nver see them in person again.

I wish that crazyness was a generally accepted resource for the national economy.

Granted. But the psychopaths all bribe the mental hospitals to go free, andthe guards fo crazy, and they get locked up, bribe their replacement guards, they go crazy... so on and so forth until the only sane person goes mad as a result of living in a world full of crazy people.

I wish wishes were fishes. Cooked fishes. With flavours that I like.