corrupt wishing well of doom

Granted. Everybody speaks it, but only dead language professors, employees of the Vatican, and 2500 year old immortals understand it.

I wish we (more specifically, I) would not mix up threads unless it results in fun.

granted, but then mixing up threads becomes no fun at all

I wish I knew which religion, if any, is correct. (currently, buddhism is my choice, because all it is is an atheist religion that focuses on good deeds and becoming a better human being)

Granted. Join the Church of Banjo, the clown god of puppets, duality, and not getting hit wioth a slapstick by his brothert, god of an island of orcs.

I wish to know that my idea of religion is correct (without turning into a fundamentalist converter-psycho)

granted, but in the process you are forced to give up your tongue for the knowledge and your hands to be able to grasp the meaning of it.

I wish that there were no religious fanatics that ruin it for everyone else.

Granted, but there are still political fanatics that ruin it for everyone else.

I wish a write-in (probably Colbert) by on people who don't wantr to vote for anyopne would win the next election.

granted....just...granted...but that person still loses, because Obama will win.

I wish McCain would suspend his campaign permenantly and lay down to die like he looks like he already has.

Um, that wasn't granted. At all.

Granted, but he gets back up and becomes the first zombified U.S. president.

I wish we could have fake zombie attacks, and other stuff like in cool games across the world, changing genre every so often, and nobody dies from the games or are permanently injured, and if a person doesn't want to be a player for a while they can just be an NPC or unaffected by the Game.

granted, but a time warp opens up and engulfs everyone who foesn't want to be a part of the game and sends them four-hundred years into the future, which subjects them to the consequences of the game world anyway.

I wish that I could restate that last wish to make it sound less...ummm...horrible....it didn't come out the way I wanted it too.

Granted, but you have to retype it for the rest of eternity, heck time (heck eternity=15 minutes)

I wish Miss V could stay, and the same for the other people that were decent, fun members of the forum who no longer post here.

granted, but then all the accounts Termie created become active for some reason and everyone is afraid of their posts.

it sucks......

I wish that being an admin on a forum wasn't so time consuming

Granted. But you have to be an admin on every forum you have ever visited, and while not individually time-consuming, each forum admin position is annoying.

I wish... that I would get sick only when it is convenient, and not when I have to feel better within 20 hours of realising I'm ill.

granted, but when you get sick, it always lasts for one week.

I wish that convienence was less of an abstract.

Granted, but it is limited to use in the phrase "convenience store," and translates to "cheap and selling nothing of adequate nutrition or lack of preservatives"...store.

I wish for more humor in the real world (decent, not annoying humor, not black humor or slapstick. And not humour like bile, blood, and mucus.)

granted, but our concept of decency in comedy is reduced to thinking that only prop comedy is good, s everyone always acts like Carrot Top.

I wish Carrot Top stopped being annoying without anyone ever thinking he was funny or smart.

Granted. He turns into a giant, eternally regenerating piece of caramel, with people cutting bits off of his chewy molten-sugar corpse. You get free caramel for life for making the wish, but it glues your mouth shut.

I wish I could figure out this relationship stuff more easily, it's driving me half mad.

granted, but once you figure it out, no one wants anything to do with you.

its not that easy.
/\
I wish it was.|

Granted... But there is one more male than female on earht, so you're left as the only single person on earth.

I wish I could remember how to properly make pumpkin pie. Unless... Yeah, the oven is probab,ly for more than just baking the crust, since you cook it with the filling in...
(mostly kidding)

granted. but pumpkins soon after become extinct and you are unable to make one.

I wish I still liked pumpkin pie....

bad things happened a few years ago, and now eating it makes me nautious...

Granted. You still like it, evben though it makes you sick.

I wish I could satisfy both my incorrigible nosiness about why pumpkin pie makes you nauseous, and my want not to be grossed out by pumpkin pie.

granted, I shall tell you the story, which is not gross beyond mild gag issues.

I was about 10 or so. it was about noon or so, and I like orange juice. it was also after lunch. My mother likes to have dessert after a family (extended family as well) meal. I got a piece of pumpkin pie and had a glass of orange juice. I almost choked on a bite of the pie, so I took a drink of my juice. they don't mix well. I threw up. thats the whole story.

I wish that gag reflexes only activated for things immediately harmful to the body, rather than simply through bad tastes and bad smells.

Granted, but it doesn't react to things that taste bad because of humans that think they taste good dying not-immediately and being removed from the gene pool.

I wish The Sims 3 had more complex projected systems, rather than being simplified.

granted, but the next sims has systems that are so complex that no one can even think about them without their heads kerploding.

I wish visiting home didn't cost so much.

Granted, but your parents are always pestering you about why you don't visit as often.

I wish I could travel instantaneously and free of charge so as to be able to, like, gop on vacation for the day anywhere I wanted at a miunute's notice.

granted, but after you make the wish, you realize that there are no places you want to vacation to.

I wish that lag was not emminent when playing Soul Caliber 4 online.

Granted. But it turns out that you are the slowest SC4 player online.

I wish I could remember stuff like conversational topics, and gamde scene parodies I've thought of, when it is useful rather than several or more minutes later.