corrupt wishing well of doom

granted but you mak a mistake and travel to the intestines of a dinosaur

I wish I could travel faster than light without side-effects

Granted, but you go so far so fast you forget the way home.

I wish I had super alertness

granted, but a pin drop a mile away breaks your ear-drums.

I wish I could go faster than the speed of light with all the going back in time side-effects.

Granted, you race into a black hole 10,000 years ago.

I wish people would stop making jokes like "Samantha looked at the TV and it exploded" just because it actually happened once

ghehehe granted but now everything explodes when you look at it

I wish I could corrupt everything

Granted. YOu corrupt your corruption power the first time you use it, corrupting yourself, so you can'ty corrupt anything else.

I wish to be able to publish my philosophical thoughts. like, in an actual book.

Granted but people on street recognize you and steal your clothes, eyes and dental insurance!

I wish I had the power to lift something >.<

Granted. You can lift police officers/ wallets. after which they arrest you.

I wish for perfectly controlled (by me) shapeshifting powers.

Granted, you carefully shapeshift into Britney Spears

I wish for painkillers

granted but they litterly kill the pain

I wish I was more special

Granted. You're composed entirely ot quantum particles with the spin of "special," and either you fall apart or implode, I can't recall which.

I wish for the ability to change my reality similar to a tabletop RPG stats&abilities sheet would for a game character. but being able to rearrange skill points and abilities as I wished.

granted but a lupin just comes and kills you

I wish people would think before they talk

Granted, people spend so long thinking before they speak, that they forget to speak

I wish for a big phew!

granted, but the wind created from the big phew knocks down your house.

I wish life was more like an RPG

Granted, you need someone to give you a phoenix down

I wish I was better at making rules