One Day I'll Fly Away...

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One Day I'll Fly Away...

Post by Miss Valentine on Wed Dec 12, 2007 3:20 pm

Once again I feel the need to write down some of my feelings for fear of losing my sanity, not that it's that difficult!

For some time now I've been in a horrible restless mood, like nothing seems good enough, lots of things keep going wrong and even my usual escapisms seem to not do much to keep me from feeling this way. The best way to describe it is "itchy feet", the feeling of wanting to travel and move around, anything but stay in one place. I know it's a lot to do with my house being ripped apart at the time of year when it matters the most, but I'm sure I would probably feel some of this way regardless of that. In fact it's been something I've felt intermittently thoughout my whole life, like I'm trapped in one spot and want to break out and go off to see the world.

Travel has always been a huge interest of mine. Whether it be culture, scenery or some other feature that attracts me. It's not just the actual destination either, even being on a bus, coach, plane, train, for some reason I love it. And the longer the better, which is so weird and I don't really know why, but I get a lot of enjoyment out of it, even just getting on a bus to the town centre for half an hour! I don't understand why I feel that way, I just know I get really down when I can't go anywhere, and there are so many places I want to see but it's difficult when I have so many responsibilities, I can't just drop everything and go. Even if I took Jonny with me, it wouldn't be the same.

I keep thinking about the last time I just threw my foibles aside and went somewhere far away, expecting an amazing experience in a far away country, which was China. You've probably noticed it coming up a lot in recent posts, because it really has been on my mind a lot. I had a lot of expectations, rightly so because I'd heard so much about this amazing country, and anything like that would always make me want to go there and see for myself. I was even pleased that Jonny would be cared for and I would get a break from him for a short while. But I still can't get over how it was my first time abroad on my own, and instead of being what I expected, it was a huge huuuuge disappointment. Far from being a bustling newly developing Beijing with the heart of old China thrown in, it was grey, scary, polluted to choking point and full of zombies, rather like Silent Hill. At the time I was glad when it was time to come back home (I enjoyed the plane rides more than the holiday), but now I feel really cheated because it could have been so much more, and an opportunity like that might not come for a very long time.

I wondered how many other people feel this way. I know it's bizarre but I feel like I'm missing so much, and the more I feel that way the more claustrophobic I feel being stuck in my situation and in the same old place I've always known. I can't help feeling guilty aswell because I should be grateful having the life I have, it's mostly peaceful now I have my own home and me and Jonny are safer than before. Maybe it's just general frustration manifesting itself in this way, but it's always happened whatever situation I've been in Sad
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Re: One Day I'll Fly Away...

Post by Firesnakious on Wed Dec 12, 2007 9:41 pm

The need to travel is very natural
because when humans where still hunters they head for the south when things got cooler...... or to the north if they were in thr loerdt psrtd of the earth
I have the need constently but I've learn to live with it
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Re: One Day I'll Fly Away...

Post by Miss Valentine on Thu Dec 13, 2007 12:45 pm

Natural, I suppose so. I must have been an explorer in a past life lol!

How do you learn to live with it though? Doesn't it piss you off when you want to travel but you just can't? Whether it's for a reason, a specific place you want to see, or just plain escapism, how the hell do you stop youself from losing it? Hehehe you can teach me! Very Happy
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Re: One Day I'll Fly Away...

Post by Firesnakious on Thu Dec 13, 2007 1:28 pm

I think of my friends and relitives here and how each and everyone is special for me. It immediately makes me less travel-sick
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Re: One Day I'll Fly Away...

Post by Miss Valentine on Thu Dec 13, 2007 1:48 pm

I feel kinda guilty sometimes that there is only really Jonny that stops me from feeling too much like just going away somewhere. The rest of my family, as much as I love them, I'm with them so much of the time and we get on each other's nerves. I've tried to just stay home sometimes and not visit them, but they always need me for some reason. I'm like the most counted-on person. And though it can be good because I do my best to help, and though it's nice to be needed, sometimes demand is just too much. I need a break from them too!! Very Happy

On a lighter note, I look forward to Jonny being a little bit older, it would be cool to take him with me if I went somewhere, even just a little trip over the channel, Germany or Holland, or Belgium seems interesting. then I suppose when he's grown up and ready to fly the nest, I can travel on my own further afield. I'm impatient to a fault, but you're right I should just concentrate on getting things right at home, he does need me a lot.
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Re: One Day I'll Fly Away...

Post by Firesnakious on Thu Dec 13, 2007 1:55 pm

If you go to holland be sure to visit Roosendaal and say when you arrive there.... don't travel into the city because there are drugs dealers everywhere Razz
or I could wait for you in zevenbergen... nice town Razz
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Re: One Day I'll Fly Away...

Post by Miss Valentine on Thu Dec 13, 2007 2:11 pm

Ok then, that would be fun. One thing I was proud of myself for when I went to China was that I planned everything without going on a package tour, which if I'd been on my own would have left me free to explore absolutely everywhere. I love to just go without the being in a tourist group crap, so just going to a city like that would really appeal to me Very Happy And yaya meeting friends, even better Mr Green

*sigh* I will one day, I promise myself I will Very Happy
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Re: One Day I'll Fly Away...

Post by Mr. Midgar on Mon May 19, 2008 2:22 am

I have never really had the urge to travel much... as a result, I have never really been anywhere. I suppose one of these days when I get some money and have some time I will try and see a bit of the world, but in the mean time, I think I'll just eat a candy bar and sit on the couch. *munch munch munch*
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Re: One Day I'll Fly Away...

Post by Miss Valentine on Mon May 19, 2008 12:48 pm

Hehehehe I wish I could be like that, but I just get too restless, I would want to eat a candy bar whilst jumping out of a plane on a Bond film set.....did I just admit to that *_*
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Re: One Day I'll Fly Away...

Post by Firesnakious on Tue May 20, 2008 10:46 am

I hope that one day I could just ... travel the world with a solar powered laptop ... so I could write a travel report
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