KAMPAI!!

Welcome one and all, to Kampai!, Sorrow's Elegance's own coffee bar by day, alcohol bar by night.

Be welcomed in with a warm inviting cup of coffee by our best waiter JET73L, tantalise your tastebuds (oh dear) with dishes by our enthusiastic chef Firesnakious. And of course you can rely on Miss Valentine for all your cocktail needs!

Pull up a stool, shake off the snow and have a great time at Kampai!!

Available facilities-

-Fully fitted bar with state-of-the-art coffee making machines (designed by our coffee maestro)
-Huge kitchen with chef who has burning powers
-Training arena, with fully fitted viewing area
-On-hand battle veterans to help you train (JET, Firesnakious, Vincent Valentine )
-Fish tank, for your hypnosis needs
-Parachutes
-Anti-element forcefield for your protection

Yays. I will be glad to serve. Our specials today are:

Latte flavoured with souls of the damned
gin and tonic with malarial mosquitoes
a half-brick, on the rocks

Enter, all who travel here!

Glad somebody actually bothered to post here!!!!

Burning salsa surprise
Black Cat Cappucino
Calypso Espresso

And of course, Firesnakious will be serving blood should anybody need it!!

JET yaya!!!! Glad to see you here, has everything been Ok?

how could I miss this *_*
I wanna burn and kill stuff as chef

That's your job man, now go hunt for some more ducks to roast!

woohoo
*takes my gunblade and my fork of truth and runs after ducks*

Don't forget also available-

Parachutes
Planes for hire
Wooden weapons
Katana
Gunblades
Potions
Potoins

And a fully stocked materia shop!

Ooh, I shall use my emloyee discount for a katana, two potions, and a Double materia, to increase my serving efficiency.

(PS: Couldn't access the forums from my Grandmom's house, where I was staying for thanksgiving. But thanks for caring!)

No prob, glad everything's Ok! (gosh I must sound like a mom or something...)

Of course, you get 75% discount working at Kampai!. The staff I already have are great, but remember guys, I'm always recruiting, the more the merrier!

Now time to try out my new Contain materia...

you silly people
I found all my materia in the forest
but I don't need materia
gives all the materia to miss valentine

Rewrites specials on the board:
Gourmet non-dairy Soy-mocha-latte with extra pretensiousness
Cup of Joe (manufactured by the soylent industry)
mud. In a coffee cup. with bits of grasss clipping. Erm, actually, "herbal Tea de-caf coffee"
Note to customers: Our new complaint dept. is Mr. Slicy (The katana)

Gives beverages and baked goods to customers who ordered them.

I wanna try some of your famous baked goods!!!

Hmm I came up with these-

4xCut smoked with fire salmon
Cured ham baked in a sock
BBQ Duck a la 'Snakious

And for our beverages-

Kazakhstan Iced Tea
January Bug cocktail
Cosmo matches
And my favourite- Absinthe Amaretto Airplane!!

Ooooooh, more materia for me.....

PROMOTION TIME!!!!!

I will make Monday promotion day, for whomever deserves it.

This week's promotion goes to- JET!!!! For commitment to the cause of Kampai! and shameless advertising above and beyond the call of duty.

Your reward is- up 6 levels and promoted to marketing consultant. Though you still have to serve coffee!!! Congrats!

W00T! Coffee and a job with "consultant" in the title! Yay! Starts serves beverages people ordered. It is evening.

Oi! Serve my something NEW. as the saying goes' "Surprise me!"
(How do you play this game?)

Hmm, well, I'm not really sure. Up until now, iot was just serving imaginary customers, but now someone else on the forum wants to eat here. Ah, well, I suppose I'll go tell the "chef" of your order.

Oi, Firesnake! the customer wants a surprise special! and remember, nothing cooked beyond well done that isn't supposed to be, ya pyro!

*falls off pedestal laughing*

Hahahahahaha you know, I've been trying to think for a while what we can serve our dear Zotar, as you say our previous customers were, like, not real.

Wow Firesnakious you better get to work!! And JET, whatever he makes you can market it to death, be a chance to test out your new promo powers!!!

While I'm here I'd like to welcome Chaos' Master to our happy heppy team, as our new Skydiving co-ordinator. Well Vincent couldn't do it anymore, he's kinda indisposed

And remember guys, it's Monday tomorrow so some lucky person may get promoted.....

*makes my suprise special*
... you really don't wanna know what's in it
but it tastes goooooooood
order table 1 ready ow and table 2 is ready too

*walks in* HEY GUYS! I'm here to begin doing my job. What is it you want me to do right now miss Valentine?
*looks at the surprise special*
.....okay then.....

It's partaly made out of baby
VALENTINE, CHAOS IS HERE!

Whoops *puts down joypad* hilloo there Chaos!!

*hands Chaos a parachute* the Tiny Termie (my little plane ) is outside on the landing strip, there are some people waiting for you to help them through a skydive. Make sure they have their parachutes too, though if they do die, don't worry about it our insurance will cover it

If you have any questions, ask old man Vincent, I think I pretty much wore him out with this job but he should give some sound advice *hears a knock under the floorboards, stamps my foot* shhhhhh down there!!

Okies have fun and remember to report back for your pay and if we need help serving customers

*looks over to the kitchen and sees lots of smoke* good thing this place has no fire alarms!

*looks under the floor boards and sees something he shouldn't have seen* oh well....I guess I'll go help them...
*goes outside and gets everybody into the plane*
alright everybody, are you ready to skydive?
*other people* YEAH!
*me* alright then, who's going first? you, the one who brought his own parachute!
*pushes him off the plane with minimal instruction* *yells out* alright, now pull the string! *watches him pull the string and nothing happen*...ow well...he brought his own parachute, what kind of idiot does that?

*gives out parachutes to everybody* alright, what you need to do when skydiving is pull the little string right there*points*

*pushes everybody out of the plane and watches as about 2/3 do what they are told, and the rest fall to their deaths.

*has the plane set back down* goes into the shop. alright, I'm done with that, now what?

Um, that's it, for now. Heh.

You could go help Firesnakious in the kitchen, maybe help him construct dishes that are not chargrilled, BBQ or just plain burned

alrighty then goes into the kitchen to help firesnake.

Serves the surprise specials. Also makes and serves coffees.
thinking: advertisment. Hmm.
The Surprise Special: Surprisingly delicious! no...
Perfect for surprise parties! closer, but still...
The Surprise Special! Guaranteed to taste so great, you won't care about knowing what you're eating!
Hmmm. I guess that last on'es okay.
Serves more customers. Their food. Not to other customers.